Today I reinvent myself

I am 59 years old and today I begin to reinvent myself. This is not so much a conscious decision but a calling, an urging deep in my soul, that still small voice within that directs and redirects me in life. A calling that is not limited to me and my life, but a calling that, I believe, is stirring in every one of us. Some people are called to be a Mother Teresa, a doctor without borders, a world spiritual teacher, or some other grand undertaking. My calling, right now, is to reinvent myself from within. In other words, change the inner feelings and beliefs about myself, step by step. And blog about it. I got this yesterday during my meditation. The blogging part seemed a little odd, but I guess Spirit, God, the Universe, or whatever you may call it, is up on the latest technology. And so, I've made a conscious decision to follow this calling and today, I begin.

I've learned, over the course of 26 years on a spiritual path, that we are much more than we think we are, that we have the power to affect change in our own lives and in the world. The two, actually, are not exclusive. We are, on a spiritual level, interconnected. When one of us moves past a fear, it affects us all. When one of us moves beyond what was previously thought impossible, the world belief shifts along with her (or him0. In other words, by changing from within, by shifting and uplifting the vibrational energy we emit into the world, we not only change ourselves, but affect the whole.

I have used these principles to affect change in my own life in the past and I have attracted a loving husband, a beautiful home, a comfortable life in Hawaii, a relatively healthy body (with a few minor exceptions), and I've had a fulfilling university career. But now, I feel it is time to make a quantum leap in consciousness. I also want changes in my outer experience, i.e. a leaner body with more energy, success in my writing career, a move to the mainland where I can travel more often and see my family, financial security. I know that these things are only icing on the cake and to get there, I need to make the fundamental changes in my own vibrational frequency, in my own thoughts and beliefs. I also want to make a difference. I want to inspire people.

So, how do I begin these changes? By changing my focus, inch by inch. I've noticed that I've been drawn too much to the problems of life recently and that has affected my emotional well being. I also know that I have the power to make the necessary change, so here I go.

I will begin by making a list of things that, if I think about them, they make me happy. These can be from the past, the present, or dreams of the future. I will try to think of these things as much as possible. I know that my feelings well let me know if this is working.

Next, I will choose a symbol or image that I can use to shift my focus whenever I find myself focusing on a problem or thinking negatively. Once, in Australia, I saw a blue butterfly. It was beautiful and unusual and it delighted me. This will be my symbol. If I find myself thinking about something that bothers me and I start feeling bad, I will shift to the blue butterfly to disrupt the thought, than focus on a positive thing from my list.

This does not mean I will ignore problems or issues of life. I am very practical and take care of business. But taking care of business and finding solutions is very different than letting the negative thoughts have a life of their own and roll around in your head all day.

I also know that if I can change the vibrational frequency, or in other words, the thoughts and feelings that I am consistently offering, my outer reality will change in response. I have done this before and I know that it works.

Action is part of the equation, but only if it is either directed from a place of peace and inner guidance, or if it feels good. This is not about struggle and sacrifice.

So, first I will make the list of feel good things. Then I will disrupt any negative thoughts with the blue butterfly. Third, I will look for evidence that changes are taking place.

Yesterday, I made a conscious decision to follow my intuitive guidance and make this change. This decision, in and of itself, affected my vibration. As a result:

1. It was hot, so I took a walk in the mall. A woman I'd never met stopped me. She said she worked in the mall, then added: "I see you walking and I wanted you to know that you've inspired me." Imagine jaw dropping - eyes wide.

2. I came home and checked my facebook. A girl I knew from high school and never saw since found me on facebook and reminded me how much she used to like my stories back then. "You were pretty good," she said. "You even wrote essays for me and other friends for class. You could do one in ten minutes!"

3. Money I needed showed up. Yay!

Okay, universe. I'm game.